As I sit here in front of my newly-created blog, relaxing with a hot cup of dark roast coffee, my feet resting on the toasty baseboard heater, the soothing trickle of the fish tank filter gurgling in the background, I'm enjoying a short window of quiet, uninterupted solitude. My husband Steve and 7 year-old son Jason will be back from lacrosse in about an hour, and we have a typical, non-stop weekend ahead of us. But before the back-to-back activities of the weekend ramps up to full-gear, I can't help but think back to where I was at this same time, four years ago. In January of 2007, I was incapable of relaxing. I was spending any free moment Googling my strange symptoms, trying to find out what was wrong with me. I was so distracted by the scary changes in my body, and completely preoccupied with the fear of not knowing what was happening. I was desperate to find answers, because at that point, my doctor hadn't been able to find any.
What a difference to how I'm feeling today, healthy and whole, energized and ready to tackle whatever the weekend throws at me. Any moment now, Steve and Jason will return from lacrosse, and I'll shift to full-on mommy-mode, getting him changed for the next activity, dropping him off and squeezing in a few errands before I pick him back up again. After lunch, we'll head for a birthday party, where I can catch up with some friends while the kids play. When the party's over, we'll return home and I'll simultaneously get myself glammed up for a nice dinner date with friends, while also making dinner for Jason and the sitter. I look forward to dressing up and going out now, whereas four years ago I only wanted to stay in and hide behind my sweatpants. It was impossible to enjoy a carefree dinner date at that time since I was unable to concentrate on anything except how awful I looked and felt.
But here I am, back to my happy self, creating a blog named for the children's picture book I wrote in 2008 in the midst of the biggest health crisis of my life. Where Did Mommy's Superpowers Go? is the story that came to me as I tried to explain to Jason, who was only four years old, what was happening to me. In the eyes of a child at that age, parents are right up there with superheroes. We don't get sick! We don't take days (or weeks, or months) off! But how would I explain to him, without frightening him, what my doctors had discovered? How would I help him understand what I'd be going through, and how it would change my appearance, and my physical abilities? I wanted so desperately to reassure him that I would be okay, but to be honest, at the time, nothing was guaranteed. I knew it could be scary for a kid to learn a parent was sick, to see them in that weak, vulnerable state. I also knew it wasn't so much *what* I told Jason, but *how* I told him. I decided that the best way for me to handle the situation was to tell Jason the truth, in an upbeat and positive way, in language he could understand, and hope for the best.
So where IS this fabulous book, you may be wondering? I've been in the process of self-publishing it since last May, and I'm so excited to be in the final stages. A few more tweaks, and hopefully we'll be ready to go to print by early spring! In the meantime, this blog can help chronicle the events of the past four years, and tell the story of how Where Did Mommy's Superpowers Go? came to be.